creature of comfort seeking change

I don't feel like typing much, which in itself is a sad thing - I love keeping this blog and expressing my thoughts

I just feel like I need a new challenge, I feel quite unsettled and I'm pretty sure I have the burglary to thank for that.

Hopefully things will just settle back into a routine and I don't feel so distracted and bothered.

I want to say more but just feel exhausted. Sorry, that all felt a bit pointless.

The wind from the sails has gone...

Well, it has temporarily.

Sue and I were burgled for the fourth or fifth time (I've lost count) last Tuesday morning while we slept.

The heartless individual(s) who did this took Harry and Jack's computer consoles and games apart from the camcorder, laptop, camera, sat nav and goodness knows what else.

The scum that did this turned the place over going through drawers, files and papers.

My podcasting software and mp3's have all gone including the draft of the novel that I had spent hours and hours writing. No, you guessed correctly, I didn't back the files up.

How can people be so hateful?

I am trying to muster up the energy to record again, but without a laptop or the software it all just seems too much trouble.

I'm sure I'll get the sails up again, at the moment I just can't seem to gather any energy I'm afraid.

Tribute

I attended the funeral today of an old friend who took her own life because of the physical pain that she was in. I have no idea what drives a person to take their own life, and cannot begin to imagine the dreadful, dark place that she must have been driven to. Her family were devastated. One member said he felt cheated that she had been snatched from him.

I stood in the crematorium, bewildered by how my friend had touched so many lives. There were at least 300 people crammed into the circular chapel, there were nearly 200 standing, packing the place out. Cars were parked everywhere, in every conceivable space and beyond.

A few weeks ago I attended the funeral of my best mate's dad. I'd known Adam's dad; Walter for nearly thirty years, a gentle, lovely soul, and a real enigma. Walter was one of the brightest men I ever knew. He would complete the Telegraph crossword in less than 10 minutes and have a wonderful turn of phrase and an entirely dry sense of humour. Walter was 78 when he died, but was still a very good mate. I loved the times I would just sit with him and hear him reminisce. He was a great talker, and a gentle listener too. One of the old school who dearly loved his family.

Listening to the last tributes of a life is an inspiring and insightful thing. All the problems you think you have are suddenly put in perspective.

We live life, dangling by a precious and delicate thread that can so easily be broken. I realise, as time goes by how much I love my family. I would do anything to protect them. I relish the times that Harry, my 7 year old cuddles up to me and know, instinctively I would do anything to keep him from harm.

I don't want to sound morose, far from it. I want to capitalise on the time I have here and not waste it. So many people ask why I do so much. I just don't want to miss out on things, but then again I don't want to do all the wrong things.

I want people to attend my funeral when that fateful day comes, and have my mates hear that I lived life to the full and left some sort of legacy. I want my kids to be proud of me and remember me for the right reasons.

Life is definitely for the living.

Some things my dad, a minister, taught me as a child mean so much to me now:

1. Keep a short account with God. You may not be particularly religious, or have any faith at all. I do, and I'm proud of it. I'd like that beautiful scripture to be something I would yearn for "Well done, my good and faithful servant"

2. Live for today, plan for tomorrow.

I need to keep reminding myself that we're here for just a season, and that as bad as things get, there are some wonderful experiences to be had. Things should never be taken for granted and I would hate to sit in a bath chair at the end of my life full of regrets and unfulfilled wishes. I'm determined I won't.

An author's lot...

.... is actually quite a happy one. I'm certainly not professing to be an author in the real sense of the word, but the fact I am writing a novel at least gives me the opportunity to have a dalliance with the title.

I've wanted to write a semi-autobiographical novel (is there even such a thing?!) for around five years now. It has, so far, been a real joy to do, but it's time consuming and time isn't something I have a great deal of at the moment.

I'm around 8,000 words into about 100,000 words and the third chapter. I love getting lost in the writing and find it therapeutic to see words form into a sentence, and eventually a complete chapter.

I'm learning lessons endlessly. I've created a dramatis personae (list of characters) that grows endlessly. I'm really going to have to keep a file, or, better still lists pinned to a wall of character traits and plots.

The comments I've had are all positive but range widely from "too much detail and too little dialogue" to "a great balance" to "More detail and commentary please, I love the insight you bring"

I'm really pleased with chapter 2, so pleased in fact, I feel like entirely re-writing chapter 1. You can find the novel at both http://podcastpaul.com and Http://lawnovel.blogspot.com Please feel free to subscribe.

A chapter will be published every fortnight and I would welcome your feedback, either on the blog or at podcastpaul (dot) gmail (dot) com

Thanks for listening!

Chapter 2 - A law unto myself

Download the MP3 here

Nick Poulson receives instructions on a case he isn't himself sure of...

All rights reserved

pillowtalk6

Download the MP3 file here

oops... something went a bit weird with last post!

Here it is again - pillowtalk6 for your litening pleasure!

podcastpaul.com Pillowtalk 6

Download MP3 here.

Paul and Sue wax lyrical in pillowtalk6.

Coughs, rustles and knocking into the recording equipment provided by Sue. Discussion and gravitas provided by Paul.

Please send your email:

podcastpaul@gmail.com

Social Media Takeover?

Yesterday morning, Sue and I lay in bed, she was using the laptop chatting to her friends in an online forum and I was using the iPod touch to chat to mine on Twitter.

Christian (16) Jack (13) Mike (19) and even Harry (7) have social networks where they catch up with their friends. Harry uses 'Club Penguin' to feed his 'puffles' and the other three seem to chat endlessly to their mates about music, girls, and whatever takes their fancy.

Just sitting, taking a moment, isn't this all a bit sterile? My family do of course talk to each other, but I'm beginning to worry about the time we're all cumulatively spending on line. It's nice to catch up, but it is, really, a mammoth waste of time. I don't need to blog, I don't need to talk about the things I do online necessarily.

Isn't talking to each other enough? When I talk here, I of course talk generically, I include you, after all. you're reading this.

I've a million and one things to do and they need doing now. So why am I telling you this and not getting up and doing them? Dunno. Force of habit I imagine.

I think, analysing this post that I probably spend far too much time on line and really must moderate what I'm doing. I need tody to cut the grass, fix the curtain rail (again!), see if can find out whether or not my wallet was found at the Twitter meet up last night.... organise a service for the boiler (that's the hot water boiler, not Sue) and the list goes on and on...

So, can I moderate what I'm doing? Haven't a clue, but I'm going to try and it starts today.

A law unto myself - an audio book by Paul Nicholls

Download the MP3 of a law unto myself entirely free from here

Wow! Here goes, the first chapter of a novel devised and read by me.

I've always loved Rumpole of the Bailey, but thought that it was probably a bit highbrow for many. In my book, Nick Poulson, an average Joe fights for the good of the common man - as a common man at a little firm of solicitors in leafy Kenlworth.

All of the stories are true experiences with a touch of artistic licence. I've completely anonymised clients and actions and drawn from stories that have touched me.

I've tried to write in the style of the James Herriot books to give my audience a peek into the daily life of an English lawyer.

I do hope you enjoy it.

Paul.

all rights reserved : A law unto myself copyright Paul Nicholls 2008.

pillowtalk5

Download the show in MP3 format here

Sue and I chew the fat in pillowtalk show no.5

What a great discussion....your input please!

I have just come back into the office from the car and did that very rare thing: sat in the car for 10 minutes unable to switch off, compelled by the content.

The discussion was on the 'White Season' - talking about whether the voice of the white working class was ignored. There was an almost unanimous 'yes' - with an older asian female caller sugesting that positive discrimination was entirely wrong and had caused real problems. I had to sit and nod my head vigorously.

Professor Carl Chinn, who I (sort of) know - a Birmingham historian with one of the broadest Birmingham accents known to man gave a superb, clear and articulate discussion on the fact that the white working classes were certainly being overshadowed.

The discussion was not racist, not in any way shape or form - all classes and cultures contributed. This was radio at it's best - and I sent Carl's daughter; Tara (a superb female artist) a text message "your dad is my hero!" Bless her, she replied to tell me he was her hero too...

It's an incredible discussion in itself. It's something I want to probe - and I'm going to speak to Carl to see what sort of debate we can provoke in the podcast. What is Britain? Why is there class? What is 'Britishness' that we appear to be hearing as a buzz word these days.

I absolutely love discussions that are really thought provoking. I'd love your views, mail or audio that can be sent to this mail address: podcastpaul@gmail.com Please contribute whether you're British, non - British, whatever your view.

Hope to hear from you very soon.

Paul

New Format and thanks for listening.

Thanks for the folks who've sent mails and twitter DM's etc regarding the new format of the show.

If you haven't heard the podcast, I've changed the format a little - pick a topic, research it, and theme the music to some extent too.

It's amazing how many people say "I just fast forward the music" or "I fast forward the talking". You can't please all of the people all of the time I suppose.... anyway, it's great to see people still listening to the show. There's been a spike in listening figures and some shows are doing great - one showing near 18,000. The number of folks who dip in and out are astonishing - close on half a million in the last two years - that's excellent, thanks!

The blog is something I've neglected a little. Sue mentioned to me that I can sometimes seem a bit 'whiny' or self obsessed - and looking back at some of the posts, and listening to the podcasts I can see that.... sorry! I'll try and be a little more focused. I'm astonished I've kept going since late 2004. it's the fact that you folks listen /read in that keep me going.

Anyway, thanks for the comments, thanks for continuing to listen and thanks to those of you who read the blog (including Lee up at the Burnley office and Jason in his remote Manchester Architect's office..)

Listen out towards the summer months for an audio book I'll be podcasting. I had it in mind to write a book James Herriot / Rumpole style some years ago... then I got back into studying.

Roll on summer...!

podcast 171 podcastpaul.com Surveillance Society

Podcast Paul No. 171 – download the MP3 direct from here

Welcome to the show:

Music in the podcast

Out of the Cold - Settle
Daniel Adam Johnson - Lets watch the world
Green Room - Spybeats
Chris Tapper (of the Push Stars) Feelings without weight

All music from www.music.podshow.com

I talk about surveillance in the UK - and play some comments. What do you think?

I voice my worries over the EU.

Send an email – podcastpaul@gmail.com

British Democracy in tatters.

I was sickened at the very suggestion that the people of the UK are precluded from a referendum on their very future. I am polaxed that our Government have taken that opportunity from us.

The Government secured the opportunity to steam roller over what is thought to be the popular vote of the nation - to say no.

Labour clearly and absolutely promised a vote. So did the Liberals. So what has changed?

We've an unelected Prime Minister wreaking havoc. The very fabric of our country is being chipped away.

I'm disgusted and entirely disillusioned at what I thought was the most democratic country in the world.

What an absolute farce. I have never thought so seriously at emigration.

What cost free speech?

Europe is something that I feel very passionately about - and against.

This story on the BBC site caught my eye.

I am astonished that our Government is deciding on whether or not we, the people of Britain should have a say on our very future. Of course we should! We're a tiny nation with an ever eroding culture that have had the worst policy of immigration for decades. We've simply allowed anyone to enter, and, seemingly stay even if enering illegally. Policy is changing now, but it's all too little too late.

Semantics are irritating - should we have a referendum as to the contents of the Treaty - even though it's not the constitution? It's virtually the same thing!!!!

The function of Government is to be a mouthpiece for the people, so why are Labour, and to a large extent the Lib Dem's not wanting the people to have a say? I'm afraid that when I'm told I have no say, that's the very time I want to speak - and having something that affects the very country I live in is something I feel I absolutely must participate in. It seems incredibly sinister to me that my say is taken away, I'm patted on the head and told to sit in the corner and not to worry. Why are people not shouting from the rooftops? I'll tell you why - the Government are desperately anxious that we'll follow suit with a number of other member states (even those words sound Big Brother-esque; 'member states') and vote no.

Whether or not you share my views on Europe is by the by. Having the most important things decided for me without a say is hardly democratic, in fact it's essentially Totalatarian with the darkest Orwellian shades.

Until I studied EU law I thought Europe was all about silly regulations and the permitted curve of bananas. How wrong I was.

Britain's very sovereignty is under threat. The EU demands sovereignty and very few, notably Germany and Britain resist with a dualist approach to law - i.e. retaining the right to withdraw.

We are a strong, proud nation that has a rich and proud heritage, standing on its own two feet in the world. To be subsumed into a soup of differing cultures, clashes of laws, people groups and unnecessary jealous beauracacy is to spit in the face of those who fought and paid the ultimate price for that we have today. Politicians weren't there in droves at the front line in the great wars - the people were.

Of course I'm not daft enough to think in xenophobic terms, we should welcome folks into Britain (and have) knowing they have things to offer and knowing that we can learn from them. To simply allow all and sundry in, provide benefits and have them demonstrate by burning the Union flag and / or not tackle the flow of illegal imigration has been disasterous. yes, I know that this a minority, but the minority have an extremely loud voice.

Why were we surprised that hundreds of thousands of Eastern Europeans flooded into Britain from poorer climes unnder the EU revolving door policy? I'd have jumped at the chance to do that if I were them, and I certainily don't blame them, the revolving door is ardly reciprocal. Would I want to work in Hungary or Poland? We're too small to accomodate and everything is breaking down.

We've a creaking, faltering NHS system, crime is on the increase, public services crashing, spiralling insidious hidden outrageous taxes and a massively overstretched benefits system.

Europe is a minefeld of clashing jealous cultures and the mere fact that the EU budget has not been ratified by reason of corruption for the last 10 years is one pointer as to why we, the people of the UK should at the very least have a say.

Look closely and carefully at EU politics - the British play with a very fair bat. Notably the French and Italians do not. The French have outright refused to pay fines levied against them, and demanded an unnecessary parliament in Strasbourg at massive, ludicrous cost, despite the framework of Brussels being in place. The list goes on and on.

I for one am exceptionally concerned at Britain and it's eroding culture now. To simply hand over, lock stock and barrel a nation and heritage of generations that has gone before without even wanting to consult the people is breathtakingly arrogant.

Of late we have allowed and tolerated a self styled 'muslim parliament' to speak out. Why? Would anyone like to join me in Saudi Arabia, Yemen or Pakistan to place a flag in the ground and demand a 'Christian Parliament'? I imagine we'd last a few minutes before being carted off by the state. Of course I wouldn't ever countenance the idea, I would not be so brash as to not live within cultural boundaries and would not want to seek to offend.

Free Speech allows this to happen, but it's thought of as wrong to question it. I don't agree with a Muslim Parliament and I find the very thought of it as concerning and isolationist. But that's my take, and I'm allowed to think that in a right thinking, free society. I should not tolerate any state interference with my views, as long as they remain within the boundaries of the law.

Liberal namby-pambys complain that we shouldn't call ourselves a Christian nation and that it's offensive to display the union flag / St. George's flag or to sing God Save the Queen too loudly. These idiots offend me and I find their rationale concerning.

OK, there's free speech, but, there's free speech and there's taking liberties. People are too afraid to speak out, and those who do are termed racist. Eh? Britain has a fantastic number of Britons who are proud to be called British, whatever colour and I know that many share my view, no matter what colour or creed. We should not simply be happy with our lot and stumble on, we should be allowed to say precisely what we think and ensure our voice is heard. If you think I'm a nutter, fine, move along. But don't stop me.

I'm English first, British second and I'm proud to call myself that.

Of course there should be a referendum!

morning musing

It's a beautiful sunny cold crisp March morning as I type this blog entry.

I'm working from home today, lots to do, but when I'm in the mood, it's a pleasure rather than a chore.

Emily, my 11 week old cocker spaniel is sitting curled up on my lap, pretty contented too. She's been a joy in the main (apart from the very odd accident) and seems to be learning and coping really well. She's in and out of the dog flap, having lots of lovely walks in the morning (from Sue, not me!) and really is settling into the family well. We've a cat named Oliver (he always wants more food) and a fish whose name I cannot recall but is something to do with Doctor Who. I'm not a great animal lover, but I do love Emily and still miss Tilly, my old trusted cocker so much.

A lovely steaming hot cup of tea is smoldering into the sun's rays at the side of me and I'm working safe in the knowledge that at 1pm today I go to a celebration lunch at a Michelin star restaurant to celebrate a big High Court win from Monday. Unfortunately I'm not permitted to talk about the action even though it was in open court. It's just satisfying to know that the hard work of some years now means that the 8 crates of 40 lever arch files can gather dust in the cellar for 6 years before being subject to the waste incinerator.

Work is really busy, I've a mammoth five trials this March, hopefully a couple will settle I'm sure.

Everywhere I look in my house I see a DIY job, I must be geting older as I'm actully quite looking forward to doing them (?) When one talks of work / life balance does it mean that you should be as ludicrously busy in the home as you are at work? I'm sure its the same for us all, and you're probably nodding your head as you read this post.

I'm still losing weight... at my heaviest point last year to now I've lost 32 pounds and I'm still losing weight. The conservatory is becoming ever full with rowing machines, weights, exercise benches, etc etc. I really must start using them! I'm finding a new wardrobe of clothes from a few years back and finding that some of my bigger clothes are now just too big. Weird.

A podcast is in the offing, I promise.

Anyway, time to sign off - companies to sue, trials to prepare for etc!



;-)

good nature?

Sorry this sounds cryptic. It's a marker post for me, and a general reminder when I review my blog.

If you're good natured and willing to help, or even be thoughtful, be ready to be misconstrued and dumped on.

If you're generous, be ready to be made a mug of, and seriously taken for granted.

Sadly you need to put yourself first and say no when your instinct tells you yes. Acts of kindness can make you appear odd sometimes. I'm afraid that being forthright is something I'm going to be from now. I hate being used and made a mug of.

Rant over.

Join the forum and get interactive!

Hello again!

It's Sunday morning and I'm at work preparing for a big trial tomorrow. I'm rewarding myself with a break... the way you do....

Please let me encourage as many of you as possible to join my forum at podcastmatters - you can get to the link by pressing here or accessing the address by copying and pasting this link: http://network.podcastmatters.co.uk/group/podcastpaul

I would really love to get the site moving with as many folks joining in the discussions as possible.

Hopefully I'll see you there!

Do remember you can follow me on twitter as paulnicholls.

I quite like the idea of social media when it works. When it's abused and intrusive I don't like it - Facebook and MySpace both seem to suffer from all sorts of rubbish that I can't be bothered to filter.

Twitter seems to be a great site that has held my interest for around six months - and something I visit regularly. I'm into my fourth year of blogging and podcasting and there seems to be no prospect of my interest fading in that. Friends Reunited has been the longest social network I've been involved with, I even set up a couple of reunions with old mates at school that were pretty well attended. Seesmic, the video blogging site seems to be a thriving network that I daren't get involved with, I know I'll get addicted and have even less time on my hands!

What social network sites do you have a view on? What are the pros and cons of social networking?

Any recommendations? Anything to stay away from?

comment here or send a mail to paul (squiggly 'a') podcastpaul [dot] com

Surveillance Britain.

Wow, I started to research this and it's a shocker! We've 1% of the world population and 20% of the world surveillance cameras... that's 5 million which accounts for 12 for each person!

Astonishingly London has 10,000 dedicated crime cams - at a massive cost of £200 million - or nearly half a billion dollars if you're in the US.

I'm still researching, if you've any comments, please make 'em, or mail me at podcastpaul@gmail.com

Busk Aid

My old mate and blogging podcaster extraordinaire; Dean Whitbread is supporting Busk Aid, a charity aimed at teaching South African township kids street music. Check out Dean at his blog here and the rise and shine breakfast radio show here

Best of luck Dean, and to the rest of you, please nip over and support Rise and Shine and Busk Aid.

Podcastpaul forum and message board

It's here - a group chat site for anyone who listens to the show(s) and would like a place to chat or discuss matters.

The chat site can be accessed from the icon at the side bar or by clicking here
See you in there - pop in and say hello!

lunchtime blogging

I have just enjoyed some lovely fish and chips and decided to give my much missed blogging some attention during my lunchtime. Immediately I eat them, I felt lousy and know I should have stuck to my skinny food. I've lost 28 pounds (or two stone in real money) and gone down 8 belt holes - I've had to cut the end of my belt and stick three new holes in - great, apart from the fact that my clothes are beginning to get too big for me!

As usual I'm not just busy, I'm breakneck mental. I've three trials in March - one of which is the biggest of my 24 year career Monday week, an audit next week, 8 exams starting tomorrow, continuing through Monday, Wednesday and Friday and hosts of other stuff I've got to get sorted before the weekend. Shocking. I'm beginning to dread opening my eyes of a weekday.

Is it just me that is chaotically busy, or is it life in general? It really is ridiculous, I just don't seem to get a moment's peace. Can you relate to the ludicrous, immediate deadlines, hours and hour of work and other pressures? I thought law would be a nice, gentle stroll in the park, dealing with things in an ordered fashion and sorting matters out in a nice, gentile smiley way. The new solicitors on the block are vicious, vile, unrepentant animals always attempting to take a pot shot, and the regulators more bureaucratic and pointlessly jobworth.

Oh the simplicity of being a postie, milkman or bloke in a factory pressing a button. Your day would start and finish at given points in time and dealines would not pervade my dreams....



I've been getting into the office before or around 6am to cram everything in, I'm sure that if I cut out sleep for the next two or three months and hired a chauffeur to drive me around, feed me, and generally do everything including wiping my backside that I might just see some light at the end of the tunnel.

The reason I love Swaziland so much is many things, but I love their attention to family life and just not screaming around like headless chickens. I'm desperate to get back there....

Emily

A pic of Emily.. and me..

podcastpaul podcast no170 - A Californian vibe...

PodcastPaul No. 170 – download the MP3 direct from here

Ari Shine – Crank it out Meticulous Records; California

Most of the music tonight from California – all entirely by chance….

A funny old few weeks since I last spoke to you all – time whizzing by - Tilly – and Emily. Thanks so much for all your messages, calls, mails etc.

The pain of dog training.

Bob Gentry – Upside down; California

Bob and Rose Cartwright – The Outside station; the. Brilliant podcast – go and listen – great if you’re commuting. Great production qualities and really interesting.

Last week I went to the Cotswolds with Sue. I love England, I’m biased, but the beauty around us is just astounding. Ledbury – haunting pennywhistle player – Eastnor castle.

Great time in London – cheap train and hotel tickets!

3 blind mice – Kolysanka; London

Rise of the foot soldier – awful, awful, awful. Don’t watch or support this. I just don’t get it…

Shannon Hurley – We are in Love; California

New podcast forum – very good, interesting – and busy, please join in… tell ‘em I sent you! Follow me on Twitter… paulnicholls

Entice – Listen Hard; California – I think this bloke’s voice sounds like Geddy Lee – go Rush!
Send an email – podcastpaul@gmail.com

Rise ofthe foot soldier. Utter rubbish

I sat and wasted two hours of my life on the most vile, vacuous and pointless nonsense.

There's a new genre of film about gritty life on the football terraces. 'Firms' are stocked with low life vermin desperate to fight, then there's the drugs and sex.... This is a film about... well, vermin, fighting, drugs and girls. Gouging, murdering, stabbing and mugging are all dressed up as lads having a bit of a laugh.

Scumbags.

For two hours I sat through gratuitous, pointless violence that glorified the life of some prior thug called Carlton Leach. He's such a tough bloke he has his own myspace page.. with a picture of.. tremble.. a gun on it. To think this man is cashing in on a previous violent lifestyle is just breathtakingly arrogant.

Willing the film to get to the end with some sort of point to it I watched humourless portayals of drug taking bullies. There wasn't any point apart from the director wanting to take us through the eyes of the underpriviliged underclasses of London. Get a life, I grew up in a rough backwater of Birmingham where kids had absolutely nothing, yes we had to fight and yes we went without, but we don't need some handwringing liberal to make a film about it. We still dine out on the poverty of Kes, and that was shot in 1969. At least that was a classic British portrayal with a point. This was a haphazard boasting of smashing some blokes head in on the tube against Milwall. Cheers for that.

There is a point to this post:-

1. Don't waste your time or money feeding some loser credibility. This thug offers nothing and you get nothing. He deserves nothing as he did nothing. If you're taken in by the film, he didn't get caught by the police, and if you believe his mates in the film, jail seems to be a laugh with all manner of cheeky chappies who get you connected.

2. What a stupid, idiotic, puerile message to send to kids in an increasingly violent Britain. This bloke is now 48 - fancy posting a myspace page up to glorify and capture a previous violent lifestyle. I'm ashamed to think a fellow English bloke wants to send that sort of a message to kids. Unfortunately my lad (18) bought the DVD.

I hope Leach reads this and can give me some sort of explanation for his violent memoirs ... apart from the cash and pitiful glory seeking from the youngsters he courts on myspace.

podcastpaul.com pillow talk 4

Download pillowtalk4 MP3 direct from here

It's here! Te latest instalment of Pillow talk4, I'm sorry about the quality of this, it was recorded directly on the laptop using the internal microphone.

It's a good show, despite Sue's constant knocking the laptop, rustling and various other noises...

send an email to the show: podcastpaul@gmail.com

Hello Emily

As you may know, Sue and I lost our lovely 9 year old Cocker Spaniel; Tilly a week ago.

Meet Emily, our new addition, certainly not a replacement for Tills, but hopefully a new best friend.

I met her for the first time about 10 minutes ago - Sue came back from viewing her with a little bundle.

Here's Emily; 8 weeks old with me.

Random Wednesday thoughts

I'm sitting at my desk at a minute at seven in the morning, I've been in since just after quarter past five and had, so far, a very productive morning. I'm taking just 10 minutes out to console myself with a blog post as it's curiously lonely at this time of the morning. I've been working with music in the background as I find this really helps - 'everything's changing' by Keane has just faded and 'Beat Surrender' by the Jam is now filling the office.

I reckon I can do a day's work in three to four hours without interruption in the morning. By the afternoon I'm all over the place, getting a second wind late evening.

It's been a funny old week so far. I was in meetings, not arriving home until nearly 11pm on Monday, last night I was at Uni involved in mock exams, not returning home until 10.30pm. It certainly isn't happening today, I aim to get some rest. There's only so far you
can push yourself.

I don't know about you, but I'm incredibly bored with the US primaries. Honestly? I'd rather watch blindfold Latvian table tennis.

I've been fascinated by the podcasts from the BBC - particularly "from our own correspondent" and "pods and blogs". Exceptional listening.

Bob Cartwright's "The Outdoor Show" is fantastic listening if you've a long drive: http://www.theoutdoorsstation.co.uk/ Bob is a great ambassador for quality. It amazes me how the poor audio early adopters started out with in late 2004 now near rivals the BBC.

On the home front, Sue is still in pieces about Tilly, she mentioned to me proudly that she hadn't cried yesterday and that she wants a dog in May. I don't know what I feel about that other than to say Tilly can never be replaced. It's incredible what an impression that lovely little dog left with us all.

Smooth operator; Sade has just started to play. I wish I was.... I wouldn't be in before dawn if I was!

Goodbye old friend.

Today was one of those days I will remember for all the wrong reasons.

Sue and I had our beautiful dog; Tilly, a lovely golden cocker spaniel from just a few weeks old. It seems like moments ago that Sue picked out the tiny little golden ball from the litter of pups from the breeder in Stoke On Trent. Those moments were in fact, nine years ago last November.

I'm not really an animal person at all, but Tilly wasn't an animal, she was a member of out family. She was so beautiful that we would be stopped by virtually anybody and everybody who would want to stroke and pet Tilly, commenting on her gorgeous curly coat, and daft mop of curly hair on the top of her head that looked like an 80s footballer's perm.

Tilly was the only other female in our house and was Sue's best friend. She loved and respected me, but doted on and snuggled up to Sue. Tilly was just always there. Everyone loved her and everyone commented on her beautiful, gentle nature. She loved Sue and the kids, and I know she loved me.

Tilly hadn't been well and the last week was particularly bad. All of her verve and life just seemed to slip away and she was so obviously uncomfortable. We knew that she wasn't well, but were totally unexpected for the unfolding events of today.

We took Tills to the vet this morning and were told to come back in the afternoon as there was a mass in her body that the vet could feel.

At around 4pm we were told that Tilly had cancer of the spleen and that it was virtually inevitable that this had spread to the liver. We were given the option of an exploratory operation, but told that it was highly likely that se wouldn't be woken again.

We were really presented with no option other than to put her to sleep today, or Monday. Tilly hadn't eaten since Tuesday and was vomiting regularly. There wasn't any way I wanted her to suffer until Monday. It just seemed cruel to prolong the agony. The worst of it was that the vets surgery would close within the hour or so.

We hot footed it across to the surgery and Sue was in bits. I did everything I could to hold it together as I drove to the vets surgery. We both knew exactly what we had to do and it seemed so awful and bizzare, yet the only option that we had.

When we saw Tilly, it was so obvious that she was so happy to see us, we held her as she slipped away, and it was just the worst, and awfully, the only thing to do. This beautiful dog, one of our best friends had been there with us through good and bad times - and in an instant she was gone. We were left alone with her, and Sue and I knew we would see her one last time, and then we would have to go.

We'll miss her terribly, Sue's eyes have been stinging from the tears and I'm doing all I can to hold it in as I write this post about her. The space in the corner of the room where Tilly always sat seems so empty, and the space by the side of the bed will be equally empty. The house was never empty when we were here on our own, Tilly would follow you around, her tail perpetually wagging and enthusiastic. She will leave a huge hole in our hearts.

Goodbye old mate. We'll miss you terribly.

podcastpaul podcast 169

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Brilliant trees - Talent

Hello to Rowland Cutler – lovely to chat to you on Skype mate – you MUST be my longest standing listener mate!

4th year of podcasting – loved ever minute of it – you’ve been a fantastic group of folks – loved meeting every one of you.

Licencing – wondering if should go down that route – some of the unsigned acts are fantastic, but quite honestly, like some of the signed acts, some of them are rubbish too!

Duran Duran – Falling down via podsafe music network

Always maintain some awesome gems – but you need to look hard – very hard – Ho;low Horse, Paul Rose, Mangomad, Simon Apple, Slashed Seat Affair. Supprt your unsigned artists, but I hanker after playing Ghost Town by the specials, Jump by Van Halen – the list goes on. Never ever understand the mentality of keeping the archived dusty stuff uncovered for us to rediscover. They’re a soundtrack to our life. Watch a film like pretty in pink if you’re late thirties / early forties and you’ll gasp at the soundtrack.

Eleanor McEvoy – Territory of Poets. Blimey! What a voice – awesome!

Jack – so proud of him. Great night last night at the gifted and talent evening at Lordsword Girls school, Birmingham.

Esteban – Santiago via the lads themselves – cheers boys!

Juan’s nan’s second funeral in Chile – yes you heard that right!

Good Lovelies – Taboo – cheers col!

Recommended listening:

From Our Own Correspondent (BBC)
Pods and Blogs (BBC)
www.darkcompass.com
This week in London - www.parkylondon.libsyn.com

Karmyn Tyler – luv me so via podsafe music netwok

send me a mail: paul (squiggly at) podcastpaul (dot) com