Happy Birthday to me...

I'm 39 today.

It's funny, but at this age I just can't get excited at all about birthdays, they're milestones that come and go. I know Sue wants me to ceebrate my 40th in style, and I'm sure I will, but I really can't muster up any enthusiasm at the moment as I'm so tired.

I broke up from my part time post grad uni course last night and have to say that it was not before time. Virtually everyone was flagging and desperate for the short break. Next year is packed with al manner of assignments, mocks, exams, electives and so on.

My thoughts constantly wander back to Swaziland and I'm beginning to understand why now. These folks have so little and because they have so little, life isn't that stressed in the main. Obviously for the poor and unfortunate kids who are poverty stricken and living under the shadow of AIDS, that is a sentence hanging over them - however, the joy, smiles and simple living seem such an attraction and what life is all about. I yearn to get back to Swaziland and feel a real pull in my heart to get out there and do...something.

The daily stresses of life over here regarding trivial matters are beginning to gnaw at me - even the salacious newspaper headlines and trash tv that want to draw us all in over tit bits of pointless gossip over c-list celebrities. Life is about so much more and the fog we find ourselves in hides the real joy of simple things.

As another year has crept on so insidiously, I feel I must do something about how tired I'm feeling. I have real problems with my sleep and tests conducted in the last year revealed some alarming things about my sleep apnoea. I apparently died three times in the night I was monitored! This isn't so rare, but I never get the sleep I need and am constantly restless and hence constantly tired. I used a CPAP machine to help me sleep for a week or so a few months back and the results were amazing. I'm waiting for a machine now through the local hospital, but it looks as though I may well paying for it. That needs sortig quickly.

Another thing that needs sorting is my weight. I looked at some photos from podcastcon and couldn't believe it was me staring back. Listen out for a podcast about this over the weekend (or even tonight) about this.

And... Adrian Pegg. Bless him. What a darling. Adrian sent me a parcel through the post of the most amazing stuff. A company by the name of " A quarter of..." send out sweets (candy) from our past. I opened a parcel to reveal a big box of masses of old fshioned sweets. Lemon sherbets, balck jacks, Gob-stoppers, milk teeth - you name it, they're all in there.

Thanks Adrian for really making me smile, and for being so thoughtful.