17th August @ 4.50pm.
I'm sat outside my folding camper in Somerset- that's southwest England for the uninitiated. The folding camper is half caravan, half canvas - a posh tent, or poor man's caravan, take your pick.
For the first time in 3-4 days, it's glorious sunshine and not horrendous vile driving rain.
Sue has taken Harry to Weston with her friends. Weston is a big seaside resort quite near to here. I can't abide shopping so I've agreed to hold the fort.
My mood is sanguine, accordingly I'm listening to blues, real blues; Gary Moore on my Ipod, while making notes on the pocket pc.
I can't work out if I'm getting more reclusive, rude, or just wanting my own space in my old age, but I just want to sit, without distraction and gather my thoughts while listening to my music.
The truth is that just sometimes I feel I need solace. I'm constantly working, rushing around and never sat still,always having some wretched deadline to meet and always doing things for oher folks. Don't get me wrong, I love helping folks, but folks are forever just popping in to say hello only as a pretext to ask for advice. Once I've helped out they're usually off like a shot... until the next time they need help.
The odd thing about my job, maybe it's just me, is that I have so many peripheral associates and no real deep friends.
Call it irony, but as I'm writing this, there are clusters of folks I know, sat around chatting and I'm here on my own. The mobile rang and it was a 'mate' in his own words 'just calling to pick your brains'. It's the 'just' that's the stinger for me.
I've often pondered this - is it a bloke thing as to why men don't seem to have deep friendships, or is it me over analysing things and just being a bit down? could it be that I hava a feminine side? Perish the thought.
It's a parodox that someone as overt and gregarious can often feel so lonely.
Time to cheer up now, the random play has just selected 'Cold as ice' by Foreigner...