Thursday, July 19, 2007

Walter Mitty, here we go.

Have you ever been copied into an email that wasn't meant for you? I did, today.

I work in a small office - there's just ten of us and we all get on exceptionally well. We have an office up in the North of England where there's a good fifty or so folks - again all nice folks.

I was copied into a mail quite by mistake from some of the folks up North who had been looking at this blog.

I've always viewed the blog as a way to get stuff off my chest - express what I'm thinking, and just be a place where I suppose I can just vent. It's something I've always enjoyed and quite honestly never really worried about, that is, until I received this email:

This was the mail as I opened it - the blue characters are the mail to me, the content beneath is from a mail that had done the rounds between a few folks. It does worry me that a solicitor can't spell the word 'insight' but nevertheless:

An illuminating insite into the mind of a fantasist.

From: xxxxxxxxxx
Sent: 18 July 2007 11:01
To: xxxxxxxxxxxxx, xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx, xxxxxxxxxxxxxx, xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx, xxxxxxxxxxxxx, xxxxxxxxxxxxx, xxxxxxxxx, xxxxxxx, xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx, xxxxxxxxxxx, xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: Wise words

I have seen the light. Be inspired by this utter bollocks!:-


I laughed at it initially, but, thinking about it now I actually feel a bit hurt by it. The chap who'd sent me the mail meant, I think, to send the mail to someone with a similar work mail. Then again, he could have sent it to me quite purposely. Who knows?

The linked mail had sent my site's link around a few folks in the office, and it suddenly struck me - am I really just talking drivel? Some of the entries I've made on the blog are things that I've really worn on my sleeve - especially the entries that relate to my kids, stuff I feel very deeply about. The again, a bloke who writes poetry and talks about feeling pressured because of his kids? Sounds like something from One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest doesn't it? Does it?

There's a generalisation that folks from the North of England are more gritty and hard than those in the south - I think that's a generalisation too far to be honest, but there may be some small truth to it. I remember when I first started at the practice, some colleagues who are no longer with us made snide remarks about the fact I'd taken the trouble to introduce myself to everyone and "........been too friendly - what's his agenda?" As it happens, I get on great with the folks up there on the whole and they're a good bunch.

So, have I just been setting myself up for a fall? Probably. In all honesty, a blog is, thinking about it, pretty geeky. Why should I write the way I feel up in a space for all and sundry to see? Is a diary not meant to be private?

I'm having mixed emotions about continuing this at the moment, yet feel compelled to write this as I'm thinking aloud. I just think it's a way to get stuff off my chest probably, and it's a lot easier than sitting on a couch talking to a quack. Then there's the ADD.... I immediately took down my cv and photo, I felt like such an idiot putting myself on show. Why on earth had I done that anyway? Have I been parading myself about like some sort of egotist? If I have, I honestly didn't mean to, and with hindsight I feel like such an idiot.

I do hate to think that others perceive me as some sort of Walter Mitty character though. I hate feeling patronised or the centre of some joke too.

It could be that blogs are generally pretty anonymous and they jar in context with 'real' life. A bit like a wedding I suppose, where your rough and ready rugger mates meet your granny and the gentle church minister - a collision of worlds.

I think I'm probably just a bit embarrassed if the truth is known. I know I'm looking forward to my holiday more than ever though.

7 comments:

Alex Bellinger said...

Paul, I wouldn't be embarrassed, I'd be proud. Your blog's always in my RSS feed and I enjoy your honesty and openness. You wear your heart on your sleeve.

I think a lot of offices would be better places if people were more open and honest with each other. The work place could be a lot more human and compassionate at times.

But then, I'm a Southern softy, so what do I know ;)

Carry on being yourself. Not everyone is always going to like what you have to say. But they will respect you for your honesty.

tinnion said...

Paul, I have been reading and listening to your words for over 2.5 years fella and will continue to do so. You never shy from saying what you think, and I like what you say.

Those that tend to poke fun are just misery guts who are just projecting their own disappointment with what they have achieved. Ignore them, please.

Geoff

Jamie Riddell said...

And how many other people on your internal list are regular bloggers? If none [which i suspect is the case] then I rest my case m'lud.

Anonymous said...

Paul,
Please do not change a thing, and don't be embarrased by anything you have written in your blog. That's why I like it; you say the very things that pop into my mind too about life. You are an honest, hardworking, decent guy.

I'd be proud of your C.V. and all the work and sacrifices that you have put in over the years to get where you are with your life, family, podcasting and all the other things that you talk about. Don't beat yourself up because of some tosser in an office, who doesn't know his arse from his elbow and who is so bloody useless that he accidentally send the e-mail to the very person he was trying to ridicule - how clever is that ? Idiot, that's all he is. I tell you, I bet that he is now more embarrassed by his actions than you are.
Forget it. Keep doing what you do. As the songs says, 'Do What You Do Best' Right ?

Kenny

podcastpaul said...

aww cheers lads, you're a corking bunch!

I'm typing this on a Saturday now and it's all ancient history - you know, today's news, tomorrow's chip paper?!

;-)

Anonymous said...

Nemo Me Impune Lacesset

simontoon said...

We do live in a connected world, so it's worth keeping in mind that your colleagues and customers in your day job may well come across your podcasting/blogging activities. Maybe this means you will edit out some of the things you might otherwise publish (e.g. your CV) - maybe this perspective is a more realistic one to take - but BE PROUD of the rest! You're a well respected person in the podosphere and rightly so. Any sniping by colleagues is probably the product of jealousy, that they don't have such an interesting life outside of work. So keep in mind all the people that could consume your Web 2.0 meanderings and the situations you might find yourself in with them in real life, and be balanced and PROUD.