thoughts at 5.30am.

I sometimes have difficulty sleeping. I have a condition that causes me to wake every few minutes and never get restful sleep, the condition is severe. I stop breathing and my body spasms to get me breathing again, this happens every few minutes.

At hospital a few years back, I had a sleep conduction study and was disturbed to be told I'd clinically 'died' three times in the night. I now have to sleep with a mask to force air pressure into my lungs to keep my airways open. It's cumbersome, but when it works, it's great, when it doesn't - I just don't sleep.

They say you should live your life to the full - I think I'm doing more than that.... I was at uni until 9.30pm yesterday, straight from work. I got to bed at 10.30pm and woke after a terrible night's 'sleep' at around 2am. I started work at 2.50am. I've done a stack of dictation and will go until I drop around lunch, grab some sleep, some lunch, watch Harry in his nativity play and then start again. Sometimes don't you wish the merry-go-round would stop for just a short time?

On a cheerier note, it's probably a normal person's lunchtime now, so I gave myself 10 minutes to write this blog. I've seen a cracking little gadget I'd love to get my hands on - have a butchers at this. Neat eh? It had a very good write up by Steven Fry. I may well see if I can get one of these.

priorities and stuff

I'm taking time out of my busy schedule to drop a note on my blog.



It's still hectic with work and ... stuff. I got in this morning around 5 am (again) and have so many urgent things to do it makes my head spin.



After listening to the hypnotic voice of the Radio 4 shipping forecaster on the world service, I got out of my car and paused. I was met with a beautiful dawn chorus of birds. It was so beautiful I just had to stand and listen for a few minutes.



I got into the office, had a cup of tea and then set about work at a leisurely pace, remembering the old addage of Rob Parsons "Walk around any graveyard in Britain and you won't find a headstone with the following inscription: 'I wish I'd spent more time at the office' "

This Easter break I took my two youngest lads and Sue away in a caravan. Cheap, cheerful - and absolutely delightful. I don't mind working hard, and I'm certainly never one to be called work - shy, but at the end of the day, none of us are indispensable. I vow to leave my kids with great memories of their childhood, not a dad asleep on the sofa, or absent through work commitments or other stuff.

I can't bear to watch 'The Apprentice' with Alan Sugar, the tyrant boss demnding all and more of his strength-sapped sycophants. In truth, I fell for that load of old tripe years ago. Now I see it for what it really is. I'm lucky that I can have a work-life balance and I intend to meet this challenge head on.

The lengthy days in the office from dawn to dusk are hopefully going to be a thing of the past. I don't mind the odd early morning, and I'll do the best I can with the most integrity. I'm happy to give 100%. I'm not giving 200%. The pie of my day is hopefully clearly marked: work / kids / stuff. I now need to make the 'stuff' section smaller and the 'kids' section fatter.

The stuff thing is a deception you know. We all need stuff, but I have too much of it. Stuff that isn't work, but there to please myself or other people. I have so much stuff I find that I often let folks down because my stuff is as overwhelming as my work. To those of you who read this, if I have let you down over things recently, or taken my time in sorting something out - I'm really sorry. I need to learn to prioritise, and I'm just beginning to understand this now.

Life is not a game, you get one shot at it.

Being a terrific lawyer with a glittering career? Hmmm. Being a good lawyer with kids and a wife who will appreciate me? Exceptional. I'll take the latter any day. Now I need to work on the stuff...